Needs – Wants = Happiness
I was introduced to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs in 10th grade in my first psychology course. Many courses, classes and books later, I am still trying to climb my way to the top of the pyramid. Often we can feel lost in the search for Self Actualization. I feel like I have been on a 30 year journey towards Self Actualization, I should be there. Then it hits me. It Self Actualization is not about the destination it is about the journey.
I was fortunate, in that most of my physiological and security needs were met as a child, so I didn’t have to worry about those. In the USA and other parts of the world, many of these needs are not met and so people are not allowed to continue growing emotionally. I feel I was often stuck between love/belonging and esteem. I am always full of if-isms. If I was thinner, if I was richer, if I was pregnant. If we condition our happiness on if’s we will never be truly happy. Happiness does come from within. We have to do everything in our power to find happiness with ourselves – just the way we are. Sometimes that might involve leaning on a higher power.
If we determine our needs and make sure they are fulfilled then we can be happy. Carrie Bradshaw, from Sex and the City, had a line that always stuck with me. “The funny thing about needs: once they are met you don’t need them anymore”. Now I believe she was just talking about a want.
